I once asked a question online:
If you could use 3 words to describe what a good mother looks like to you, what would they be?
The responses received are diverse, such as knowledgeable, wealthy, gentle, confident, tolerant…
One of the most mentioned traits, and one that I think is the most important, is emotional stability.
Emotional stability does not mean blindly restraining yourself and not allowing yourself to have emotions. Being “stable” on the surface but “unstable” internally means depression, not stability. I think emotional stability is stability from the inside out. It is the peace and calmness after understanding and accepting yourself.
Emotional stability is the foundation for everything, including parenting. Emotional instability of parents may be a disaster for their children, which is why I think emotional stability is so important.
Easier said than done. Absolute emotional stability is unrealistic, so how can you make your emotions more stable? The following 7 points are for your reference.

01
Accept imperfections and look at things from a positive perspective

Every child has strengths and weaknesses, and so do we. Learning to accept the imperfections of your children and yourself, and not competing or getting angry with your children and yourself, can save you a lot of junk emotions and breakdowns.

I need to use myself as a negative example here. I think I am a perfectionist person, so I tend to take some mistakes and imperfections in life very seriously. This is very hard and affects my mood very much.

I know I have this shortcoming, so I will try my best to remind myself now not to magnify some small mistakes infinitely, or even deny myself because of them. As long as there are no serious consequences, it is a small matter, no big deal. In addition, I will also tell myself that I didn’t do this well, but there are many other things that I did well, so there is no need to feel discouraged.

I feel that seeing more of what I have done well, discovering more of my strengths and strengths, and seeing and accepting what I have not done well enough can make me feel relaxed and happy, and also give me more power to control. Good mood.

02
Avoid negative people and information

Now is the era of information explosion. Some information brings convenience and broadens horizons, while other information is meaningless garbage, such as creating anxiety and wasting emotions. Many people have experienced arguing and quarreling with others online or in WeChat groups, which wastes time and a lot of emotions.

Whether on the Internet or in real life, I think such things that are meaningless, a waste of time and emotions should be consciously avoided. In addition, if you find that there are people around you who are always gossiping and sending uncomfortable messages, you should try to avoid them, because such people are also “toxic”.

03
Keep reasonable expectations

I think reasonable expectations include two aspects, one is reasonable expectations for children, and the other is reasonable expectations for oneself.

Unrealistic expectations are likely to bring only anxiety and frustration. It is difficult for parents who are surrounded by anxiety and frustration to talk about emotional stability.

04
Face your emotions and learn to relax

When we are in a bad mood, we tend to close ourselves off and deny ourselves. The result is a vicious cycle. We feel that the whole world is over, and then our mood gets worse and worse until we collapse.

When you are emotional, learn to relax. I think everyone has different ways and methods of how to relax themselves. Some like to take a nap, some like to run, some like to find someone to talk to, some do yoga, and some take deep breaths. I think as long as you can relax yourself It is a good way to find an outlet for your emotions and calm them down.

Therefore, face your own emotions and use positive and healthy ways to calm down bad emotions, so that you will not take it out on your children or those around you who care about you because of your emotions.

05
Take care of yourself and get some rest

When you are tired, do not sleep well, or do not get enough sleep, you will easily lose your temper. This is the personal experience of many mothers. Healthy eating, moderate exercise, and adequate sleep are not only important for children, but also for mothers.

If you don’t eat well, sleep well, or live well, relying on maternal love may be able to support you for a while, but it won’t last long. And mothers who have long-term neglect of themselves and focus all their energy and attention on their children will find it difficult to be a good mother in the final analysis.

Therefore, if you want to be a good mother with stable emotions, you must first learn to take care of yourself and value your physical and mental health.

06
Seek help from family and friends

When you are in a bad mood, don’t forget that you still have friends and family. for example,

In the early postpartum period, many mothers feel anxious, depressed, and emotionally unstable. This is related to postpartum hormone fluctuations and the lack of sleep due to the hard work of raising a baby. If you feel that you can’t bear it anymore and your emotions are no longer good, then ask the people around you to help. Don’t forget the father of the child, the family, and the friends. Then give yourself some time, even just 1-2 hours, to let yourself Go for a walk, watch a movie, get your nails done, buy an outfit, and reconnect with things you enjoyed doing that made you feel relaxed and happy. After coming back, maybe I will have a completely different state of mind and emotions.

Therefore, when you are in a bad mood, remember to actively seek support from those around you, and do not bear the bad mood alone or be swallowed up by it.

07
Seek professional help

Some emotions are very annoying. They are completely beyond our control. No matter what we do, these bad emotions are always there. We cannot get peace of mind, cannot sleep well, cannot eat, and continue to feel anxious, restless, sad, and depressed. , then you should be vigilant and may need to seek professional help.

Therefore, as mentioned above, if we face up to our emotions and work hard, but the bad emotions linger, we must remember to seek professional help in time.

Finally, to summarize, a good mother does not mean a perfect mother, but emotional stability is very important to a good mother. It is not easy to achieve emotional stability, and absolute emotional stability is not realistic, but we can at least try to make our emotions more stable and control our emotions better.